I love Christmas. You should too.

Over the last week I have met quite a few people who don't love Christmas. Some of them don't even sorta like it! Shameful.

I love Christmas.

Maybe it would help you better understand me, my life and my perspective if you knew why.

As cheesy as it may sound, Christmas isn't about getting presents, to me. And I know that everyone you ask is going to agree, telling you it's about love and sharing and being thankful, which it is of course, but I don't think people actually believe that when they say it. Or they do, but they've forgotten and maybe they don't know how to get back to those basics.

I love spending time with the people I love, laughing, decorating in a warm house watching The Grinch, eating 'Traditional Tree Trimming Treats', drinking Hot Cocoa with too many marshmallows, laughing again, telling our favorite Christmas stories, decorating some cookies, laughing a little more, turning out all the lights to see how the tree lights up the whole room, realizing that the tree is warming your spirit and noticing your face is smiling, stuffing everyone into the car and driving around to look at the neighbor's light displays, catching your friend by surprise with a snow ball and laughing until you fall over.

I love Christmas. 

During the holidays happiness is a little easier to come by. The world seems a little nicer. Smiles are a little warmer. 'Thank you's are a little more sincere. Believing is a little easier. Hope is a little more tangible. 

Why do I love Christmas so much?? This is why:

 

What would you dooooOOOOO for a…. Twinkie?!

One of those crazy, new-age, social media chain letters caught my attention recently.

"The 8 people listed on the side of your facebook page are your zombie apocalypse team"  

I was on a friend’s list as “Looking for the last Twinkie”.  While it gave me a little chuckle, it’s just not the pressing of an issue and should have been just as easily forgotten. 

But… I am me. 

I don’t forget, I dwell.

So it got me to thinkin’, who would be on my apocalypse team? What kind of apocalypse are we talking about? Who do I look for first? My mom, my roommate, people I expected to survive who can help me or people I presume wouldn’t make it but I hope beyond hope that they did? What would my initial reaction be? What would I do the first day, the first week, the first month? Would I stay put and try to hold the fort or would I be ballsy enough to strike out in search of…anything?

Am I ready?

The more I think about it the less prepared I feel. I mean seriously, in all actuality I’m not going to pack an emergency kit and have it easily accessible in my home in case I need to make a break for it while watching Bridezillas. Mostly because I’ve never been able to settle on what to pack and how to pack it! But I also find it highly unlikely that I will be home when worldwide panic strikes. I will probably be at work which puts me in a pretty good place to throw together a quick base camp, gather supplies, rally survivors and make a plan.

But what then?...

Stay put and hope someone with a plan comes along to rescue us? Or head out into the chaos and hope for the best?

Hmmm……

If the CDC says so...

http://www.foxnews.com/health/2011/05/18/cdc-warns-public-prepare-zombie-apocalypse/

http://emergency.cdc.gov/socialmedia/zombies_blog.asp

I know by now MOST of you think I'm off my rocker, lost my noodle, gone off the deep end, up the stream without a paddle... that's fine. We can't all survive any way...

But it's time to face facts. This is happening people. You really need to start doing what you can to prepare. You may not survive, in fact I'm pretty sure you won't if you haven't been training for this actuality for a while, but at least don't make yourself an easy victim and a danger to those around you.

When you start to see the signs, don't brush them off as another "time filling story" on the evening news. 

               Take a second to think about it.

Signs to look for:

1. Weird youtube videos "Man eats live dog", "Neighbor wanders street for hours"...

2. News reports about mass killings in small towns/villages.

3. Major spikes in missing persons reports.

These are all good signs that something's not quite right.

The links above are real links from the Fox News website via the Center for Disease Control. Really. 

        Check it out. Get Prepared. Don't be a victim.

I will not hesitate to remove your head and destroy your brain.

A Plague On All Your Houses!

You know, you work in a place long enough, doing the same monotonous tasks 

over and over and over.... you may start to develop some resentments. Working in retail, those resentments are generally reserved for your guests. I try not to let my guests see how stupid I KNOW they are. But it's pretty hard sometimes. (That's what she said?)

*Nod and smile, Natalie, nod and smile*

But I really feel the need to share some of my recent Me vs. Guest experiences with all of you so you can better understand what I go through on a daily basis. My hope is that anyone who reads this will think twice before approaching a counter, cash register, retail employee with a dumbass question or comment. 

Think before you speak. Seriously.

Guest: "What's a Frappuccino?"

Me: "It's a beverage that's blended with ice."

Guest: "So... it's cold?"

---

Guest: "Is this Starbucks?"

---

Me: "Would you like space for cream?"

Guest: "What's that?"

Me: "Do you want me to leave room in the cup for you to add cream and sugar?"

Guest: "No cream thanks, just two splenda."

---

Guest: "Expresso"

---

Guest: "What's a shaken iced tea?"

Me: "That just means we shake the iced tea before we pour it."

Guest: "Oh. Can I just have a regular iced tea? Like without the alcohol?"

really??

---

I'm sure I could go on for quite a while if I really put some thought into it, this was just today and yesterday.

For real.

;)

The Fog.

3:43pm - I looked out of the window at work. I'd be punching out soon, heading home. I was thinking about what I would be making for dinner, whether or not I'd be hanging out with my friends, 'Do I have enough beer in the fridge?'... That's when I noticed it, the fog. The tops of some 20+ story buildings had disappeared! In the next 15 mins the fog had descended to cover the streets making it difficult to see further than the block you were walking on.

Well, I made the only choice I could....... I went to explore!!!

Right before I left work one of my guests suggested I walk over to the lake as it was really dense there and definitely a sight to see... or not see, depending on how you look at the situation... or don't look at it?? I'm confusing myself. 

I excitedly told a co-worker where I was headed and she got equally excited and came along for the adventure. You know, buddy system. Safety first!

While walking there we still had about 2 blocks visibility, but once we got there, closer to the water, it's was only about 30-50 yds. It was fun until we heard the ice cream truck. It was playing (loudly) the typical ice cream truck song, but it was a special version with laughing children cheering "Ice cream! Ice cream! Hahahahaaaaa!!" And you, quite literally, could NOT see the truck anywhere through the fog! We couldn't even really tell which direction it was coming from or headed to! 

Creeeeeeppppyyyyyyyy.....

We walked out in to the sand, looking for the water's edge. We had a harder time finding it than we'd initially thought. And then we got a little turned around. And when we went back toward the path we found we had ended up a little farther north than were we'd started.

10 minutes later... ALL THE FOG WAS GONE!!! The sun was out, the birds were chirping, people were gong about there day as if nothing had happened...

Sooooo..... I figure one of two things happened:

       1. It was a cover for an alien invasion. They are here now, watch out!

       2. It was some mass government vaccination experiment gone horribly array. We are now infected, watch out!

Either way, it's not looking very good.... Speaking of which, I'm not feeling so hot. 

*cough, cough....*